Monthly Archives: March 2017

How To Grow A Great Relationship

Children becoming adults

Relationships start early.

She is writing about relationships with children, her children, our children. She is author, blogger, mom and philosopher, Katrina Kenison.

She is talking about parenting, one of our toughest jobs, a job where there are no guarantees.

Kenison asked her 24 year old son for parenting advice that she could share at a public speaking engagement. That took courage because their relationship had not been an easy one. But that conversation led to her post and I am grateful that it did.

She writes, “We are a nation of distracted, multi-tasking “do’ers” and driven, insatiable consumers – of social media, of stimulation, and of stuff. We are also addicted to our phones. But we are losing the art of connecting face to face, heart to heart, in the here and now.”

That loss is felt by parents and children, alike. So, Kenison offers wonderful, practical ideas for reconnecting:

  • Be curious.
  • Ask; don’t tell.
  • Seek connection, not control.
  • Work on yourself, not your child.
  • Give your child the gift of failure.
  • Value effort over achievement, process over results.
  • Take the long view; look for progress, not perfection.
  • Offer the gift of your attention.
  • Sit with discomfort.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Ask for help.
  • Choose love over fear.
  • Seize the joy.

As she wrote about our teenagers being gone before we know it, I was suddenly so aware of the fact that our lives will be gone before we know it, too.

But Kenison offers ideas for “…hanging out” that might help everyone reconnect, like walking the dog together, folding laundry, chopping vegetables or eating a late night bowl of cereal. Playing a board game. Working on a puzzle together.

Small moments make strong relationships.

Small moments make strong relationships.

These are such small things, inexpensive things but the very things that help to weave the fabric of a relationship tighter. Shared moments matter.

As I read yet another remarkable essay from Kenison, I realized very quickly that her advice for building relationships with teenagers is some of the best advice I have ever read for building relationships – full stop.

Sometimes we are so busy looking ahead — the next birthday, the big trip, our retirement — that we miss the life of our very lives, altogether.

Put down your cell phone. Turn off the television. Disconnect from the Internet.

Take a minute today to breathe, to really listen to your husband or wife or friend. Try not to tell; today, try asking.

Step outside, feel the sun.

Step outside and breathe.

Step outside. Close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, the soft wind singing through the pine boughs, the birds calling out the arrival of another Spring.

Live. Now. Before it is too late.

 

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Tell the Republican Party What You Think of Trump!

Calling anyone and everyone who opposes the current President, the Republican agenda and the destruction of the democratic government of the United States of America.

Here’s your chance. Get your courage on and tell the Republican party what you really think of what’s going on in the White House and Washington DC.

Calling all Democrats, Independents, Senators (Bernie SandersElizabeth WarrenBob Casey) Congressmen, fathers, mothers, soldiers, sisters, brothers, blacks, whites, Indians, Muslims. Come on members of MoveOn.orgIndivisiblethe Democratic Party , NAACPthe ACLU and all other activists and activist groups in America.

If you have any thoughts or feelings about the takeover of our government and ultimately our country by a group of elitist, white men, now is the time to gird up your loins and unleash your pen.

The survey covers everything from dismantling the Department of Education to the Keystone and Dakota Access Pipelines, to immigration, Israel and the end of the EPA.

This is a GOP survey. I think the Republican Party actually feels that we, the people, want this type of government. The survey asks questions about actions, ideas and movements that are truly an anathema to any thinking and feeling human being as though they are proud of what is going on or think it’s just what should be happening.

If I were interested in a patriarchy for my government or an autocracy or an oligarchy, then maybe the current Administration would be just what I was looking for. But I am not and it’s not. In fact, what’s going on in our government frightens me, especially the short-term plan to grab all 3 branches of government (they have 2 and are angling for the Supreme Court).

The survey takes about 20 minutes if you include comments, which I did because I found it truly easy to give them a piece of my mind. This man and his cabal MUST GO. Before bankers and businessmen seize the Judiciary and take over our country…which they are doing, folks. Right now.

I gave them my comments. And I didn’t give them a dime at the end. I fully expect someone to ring the doorbell in the next few weeks and carry me off in cuffs. I was polite but really, I told the truth. Let’s see what happens next.

Please, take a few minutes and make your voice heard. It may be the last time they ask.

 

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Fighting the Trump Agenda In Pennsylvania

Like millions of other Americans, I have been struggling for several weeks now, trying to figure out what political and human rights issues I really want to focus on, determining just what I can do to make a difference.

I’ve cruised through Meet Up, looking for a group that I wanted to join. I was looking for a group that was established and actively engaged in doing things that would have an effect, that might help gain some ground on this slippery and dangerous slope of the Republican run on our civil and legal rights. I found plenty of groups but none that seemed, from the outside, to be poised for success in this arena.

In the course of these weeks, I did join a start-up Indivisible chapter in a nearby town, an interesting experience but too young in its life to know what it is going to do and how it’s going to do it.

So, instead of looking for groups to join, I decided to study the issues, of which there are many, and find those that I really wanted to go after. I found them.

Gerrymandering

If you live in Pennsylvania, you live in one of the states where voting districts were drawn for political purposes, not to ensure that your vote counts in an election outcome.

It’s called gerrymandering. When districts are gerrymandered, politicians are picking their voters, not the other way around. Many districts are no longer competitive. A growing number of candidates run unopposed. Voters like me feel their votes don’t count and, frankly, we are NOT be represented by the likes of Toomey, Meehan and Smucker.

Fair Districts, PA is working with state senators and representatives to take redistricting out of the hands of politicians and put it into the hands of an independent commission just the way the state legislature did in California in 2012.

So why join this fight? Because bipartisan legislation establishing an independent commission to draw up Pennsylvania’s congressional and state legislative district maps has been introduced in Harrisburg. But it needs our support.

Every township in the state is getting citizens to sign petitions asking local governing bodies for resolutions of support for Senate Bill 22. These resolutions will go to our state representatives as will a demand for passage.

Pennsylvania’s window of opportunity to affect redistricting is closing fast – the bill must be voted on and passed by state legislators this year and next year then be on the referendum in 2018 for voters – you and I — to pass. So redistricting is one issue I want to work on.

Re-elect US Senator Bob Casey

We have two Senators in Pennsylvania who are supposed to represent our views, our politics and our stand on issues in Washington, D.C. ONLY Bob Casey is doing that. The Republican party wants Pennsylvania because it’s a swing state. It also wants PA because Bob Casey is not following the Trump agenda and is not simply mouthing platitudes delivered by other DC politicians.

So what? The Republican party and all of its financial resources are gunning for Casey in the 2018 election.

When it comes to Cabinet nominations, the Russian interference in US government, La Donald’s attacks on programs like Affordable Care and Medicaid and executive orders affecting immigrants, Bob Casey has stood tall. Senator Casey’s statements reflect some thought and insight — they are not party platitudes. They are honest assessments of the people and policies the Republican majority would like to install in government and implement across the country.

U.S. Senator Bob Casey must be re-elected in 2018.

Toppling Toomey

Pat Toomey is the poster child for what a bad politician looks and acts like. He refuses to hold face-to face meetings with his constituents but has plenty of time to meet with donors and political advisers.

In my search for issues to tackle, I went to a Tuesdays with Toomey rally in Philadelphia and was surrounded by about 400 people holding signs, clapping and shouting in response to a line up of good speakers and terrifying issues like demolishing the EPA, destroying ACA and unleashing ICE on people least able to defend themselves.

Toomey did not meet with this group; that’s no surprise – the Senator from Pennsylvania has not been seen by his constituents for days. He held a town meeting on the phone – pre-screened questions and scripted responses, most of which were actually insulting. I know because I attended Toomey’s virtual town meeting and blogged about what a joke this exercise really was.

His so-called statements on everything from the confirmations of Jeff Sessions and Betsey DeVos to the nomination of Neil Gorsuch to the US Supreme Court are either rehashed versions of the official Republican statement or verbatim quotes from La Donald. If Toomey had a brain, he parked it at the front door of the Senate Chamber 6 weeks ago and hasn’t bothered to check to see if it’s still there.

 

Toomey has to go.

My Action Plan

As disappointed as I was with the DNC,I am becoming active in the local Democratic party. It has the established infrastructure and contacts to hit the ground running and help effect change.

I am going to start working to ensure redistricting is taken out of the hands of Harrisburg politicians, gerrymandering comes to an end, Senator Bob Casey gets re-elected and, Pat Toomey is ousted from the Senate…in priority order! If we don’t get our government back at a state level and rip out the Republican cartel, we will continue to lose elections and lose ground. PA is a swing state folks. This is important!

Mr. Trump, you are not going to divide us up by gender, by race, by who we love. Your bigotry is bringing us together in a progressive movement. We are not going to retreat on women’s rights, immigration rights, workers’ rights, health care rights, racial justice or climate change.

And guess what La Donald? If we work together, we shall overcome!

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