I went for a ride on my horse, today. It was my first ride since shoulder surgery on February 7th.
In the scheme of all the things that have happened in my life in the last few years, few months and few weeks, taking a spin on your horse doesn’t seem to be all that important especially when you consider that:
- I’ve been unemployed since January of 2010.
- My husband is waging an ongoing battle with infections arising from his cancer surgery that have landed him in the hospital 37 times in 10 years.
- I lost my younger brother and my best friend to a brain tumor in May of 2010 and still, I miss him.
- In February of this year, my husband had malignant melanoma misdiagnosed by a dermatologist (who will remain nameless) as “…an age spot.” Three surgeries down and three to go – that’s the status of this battle.
- Last week, he has learned he is being laid off, too.
The weight of all of these blows has seemed almost insurmountable. I try hard not to feel stressed, anxious and sometimes angry but I failed my Mahatma Ghandi test a long time ago. So life, our lives, have been hard to handle.
But today, I took a ride on my horse, Buzz. Grooming him, talking to him as I tacked him up, slipping into the saddle and taking the first walk around the riding ring filled me with so much joy and love that I sit here, 6 hours later and I’m still filled with both.
Buzz and I don’t do anything special in the ring, no cantering, no jumps. But we do so enjoy the early morning sun, the soft breeze across the fields of the farms that surround our barn and those moments when the rest of the world narrows to just the two of us and the feeling of knowing each other, understanding each other, enjoying each other.
Buzz is 20 years old. He was an $850 rescue who I brought home 7 years ago, sad, lonely, neglected. Some people might look at him and say, “What’s so special?” But people who know horses, my farrier, the equine dentist, the nutritionist I work with at Stoltzfus, other riders in the barn know. To a person they have said, “What a kind eye he has.”
And a kind and gentle heart that reminds me of just how wonderful this world is no matter what else is happening, no matter what is breaking, moving, changing, leaving. As long is Buzz is along for the ride, I know I will be able to face anything.
Thank you, Buzz.
My big sister. You’re one of the most resiliant people I’ve ever met. Your journey has been more difficult of late, yet you have the love and goodness in you to lift others up with your words.
Ride on big sis. I’ll always be a cheerleader
Thanks Kat. I love having you in my corner and am grateful for your kindness and your kind words. Anytime you want to ride with me, Buzz and I will be ready! And Happy Mother’s Day!!
I am so glad that you are “back in the saddle” – it is the best “therapy” in the world. Hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but I almost think that is part of the beauty of it. It’s a bond between you and your horse that no one can ever break.
Both are true – good therapy and hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it yet. Buzz just makes my heart sing and you cannot beat that feeling when times are tough. I know and your horse have the same bond.
Not all that important?? Come now… it’s good you got back in the saddle.
Thanks Dan. Really love that horse. Yesterday I tried a new massage technique on him called the Masterson Method and he practically melted. Yawning, stretching, shaking and making a small noise in his throat that sounded a little like purring. It was an incredible experience and I will be doing it again. And riding again, of course!